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“You’re not shaking their hand.”Thomas thinks that opening with that kind of physical contact sets the tone for the rest of the date.

Both Thomas and Ben recommend “escalating physical contact” throughout the date — but Ben cautions that this kind of escalation has to be done really carefully and conscientiously.“Before you can escalate from ‘friend touching’ to ‘romantic touching,’ you need to ensure your date actually enjoys being touched by you,” Ben tells Bustle.

If you go for a hug and your date pulls away, you have tried to get too intimate too quickly.Ben also recommends “smizing,” which any fan of America’s Next Top Model will remember means “smiling with your eyes” and Thomas told me that before he met his wife, he used to put on his favorite playlists to listen to in the shower before getting done up in his favorite threads in preparation for a date.

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