Some people we polled—especially women—don’t take kindly to initial messages that center on their body. “If the first thing a guy says to me is directed at my boobs, I assume that’s all he’s interested in.
No thank you, sir.” A much better approach is to focus in on your shared interests and ask her questions that will give you insight into her personality.
If someone messages you first, try to message her back as soon as you can.
But lucky for you, we live at a time in which there are plenty of tools that check errors and improve how we come across in our writing.