Contrary to what many white people who find black people more attractive than white people might think, some black people don’t really care. Not only did she love black men, but she could pull in the cream of the chocolate crop, one who had barely aged. He wasn’t a bad-looking guy, but I didn’t think he was any reason to show off to a complete stranger either. She could take that as “Yeah, he’s hot” if she wanted to. By then she’d moved on to new business: the nights she made out with girls.
We’d rather be judged on our individual physical merit, not the physical merit of our race. I was kind of curious, but I was more interested in seeing a throwback photo from the ’90s than in seeing what he looked like in the present day. I wondered if she would think I was self-loathing if I told her I didn’t think he deserved her accolades.
I wish I could say that I’m surprised and appalled by the ignorance that white men tend to show when they approach me, but I’ve come to expect it.
While white men are not the only group to hold racial biases and stereotypes against black women, they tend to be the least informed on the racialized and gendered issues that black women endure.
Uninitiated straight white women who have yet to “go black” are probably just as curious as some of the gay white men who have pursued me.
However, once their curiosity is satisfied, their long-term behavior is probably less likely to be racially motivated.
We’d rather pretend that you like us for us, not for that specific physical attribute that we share with every other black person. She started to tell me about the guy she lost her virginity to 20 years earlier. Now here is where our interaction started to venture off the rails. Once she found the photo she was looking for, she was on a roll.
She pulled out her phone and began clicking through photos. She showed me a succession of recent pictures of her then-40ish first-timer posing outside shirtless because, well, why not?
As pick-up talk goes, it wasn’t even remotely promising. Maybe she wanted me to know that she had done well. She had absolutely no ulterior motive and no shot with me. I hate any kind of exclusive or discriminatory thinking when it comes to race and sex, even when it works in my favor. But in reality as well as on TV and in movies, the highest-profile interracial couples have been white women with black men. She must have read my mind when she made the disclaimer about finding white men attractive, too. She was a “chocolate queen,” but she was open to other flavors. But from a distance, I’ve noticed that when a straight white woman dates a straight black guy, it’s less likely to be part of a pattern, her were TV’s first interracial married couple, and they were played by Franklin Cover, a white actor, and Roxie Roker, a black actress who was also married to a white man offscreen (TV producer Sy Kravitz, rocker Lenny’s dad). And her high praise included black women — that underdog demo that, Beyoncé aside, is often overlooked by whites with a down-with-blacks sexual agenda. I can’t recall ever previously having had a conversation with a white woman who dates black men about dating black men.
The men are just hotter.” She sounded almost apologetic, which meant she’d spent some time thinking not only about her proclivity for black people but also about how it must come across to them.We ended up hitting it off, but it wasn’t until our first date that I realized I had underestimated the wingman’s abilities.